This world is massive. And amazing. And scary. And inspirational. There are so many different ways to experience it, to live, and to be, and they all have a strong connection to where one is in the world.
I am a true creature of habit. I love being home, and I love where I live and what it affords me. But these days, I want to travel as much as possible for the rest of my life. The bulk of our parenting is done, and my priorities are to spend time with my husband and work only as hard as I need to to cover my basic needs and to pay for travel.
I often joke that I am one of maybe 20 people who was born in Vancouver and have never left. I’m also one of those who strikes up conversations with strangers on the regular, and it amazes me how often I’m speaking with someone who has recently uprooted their life to move here – for work, for school, for a relationship, or just for adventure. I’m impressed with their courage and wish that I had been braver as a younger guy before full-time careers, parenting, pet ownership, and a mortgage kicked in.
From these conversations with strangers, my unofficial research suggests that:
1) 39% of all people I meet in Vancouver have a lovely Irish accent.
2) This lovely Irish accent from a reasonably attractive male increases their overall attractiveness by 52%.
3) If someone who lives in Vancouver was born in Canada, there is a 64% chance that they have moved here from Ontario.
And 4) There is a 100% chance that I talk to strangers too much, and I am on my way to becoming an overly chatty old white dude.
Other than the mild climate and access to mountains and ocean, one of my favourite things about this city is its diversity and multiculturalism. And most importantly, my feeling that as a gay man with a husband and a son, I feel as safe and supported here as I could ever imagine feeling. Nowhere is perfect, and Vancouver certainly has its problems – affordability and homelessness being key among them. But while it is not perfect, I feel like it’s perfect for me. And the more I visit other places, the clearer this becomes. No matter how long I’ve been away or how great a trip I’ve had, the smell of the fresh BC air at YVR when I’ve just flown back home is amazing.
When our son was born in 2006, my husband Drew and I committed to show Jack ten countries in his first ten years of life. This would give him a perspective of just how unbelievably lucky we are to live where we live, in a great country and in a beautiful city. That we have all our basic needs covered and then some, and not everyone is that lucky. So, what trips did we take him on in his first ten years to illustrate the perspective that we felt he should have? A cruise to Hawaii. Disneyland. England. France. Yeah, we failed miserably in keeping him humble. These were really enjoyable trips, but we did not accomplish what we set out to do.
Subsequent efforts to correct this were not successful. But Drew and I will always encourage our son to travel as much as he can find time and budget for. I truly believe that some of the greatest education any of us can get is from immersing ourselves in a culture that is foreign to us. I genuinely feel that this is where true resilience, confidence, and perspective come from, as well as the fuel to feed the human need for adventure and to open one’s mind to different ideas.
When Jack turned 18, Drew and I finally felt confident that we could travel on our own without him and that he might not burn down the house in our absence. If the pets were alive and our home was still standing on our return, we would consider that a win.
So, in 2023 after 19 years of marriage, we took our first trip ever as a childless couple and went on an amazing two-week European trip. It was fantastic and liberating. Drew and I enjoy each other’s company in general, but we have a whole lot of fun as travel partners as well.
We are now committed to taking minimum 1 to 2 trips a year. Our bucket list of places to visit is basically anywhere we have not been, and anywhere that we feel comfortable putting our gay dollars into the local economy. Sadly, that creates a complicated list. There are countries we’re fascinated by but won’t visit because of their treatment or lack of protection of LGBTQIA+ people and other minorities. And, for now, the USA is firmly on our personal no-fly list. I’m not interested in spending my vacation dollars somewhere that is actively rolling back human rights that matter to us, while threatening and attacking our country for some time now. Not with a gun to my temple would I put one travel dollar into the US economy these days, and I wish others, particularly queer folks, would feel the same about making a trip across the border.
So, the world is massive, and I want to see as much of this amazing, beautiful, scary, and inspirational planet as I possibly can. Earlier this year, we hit England, Ireland, Scotland & Wales – basically a tour of places where the name “Randy” is used interchangeably with the word “horny”. The previous few years we saw Italy and Portugal. Next up are Spain and Greece, New Zealand, and Prince Edward Island, to name just a few. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life discovering new places.
But I also know that after every adventure, I’ll eventually walk through the doors at YVR, breathe in that fresh BC air, and think two things: 1) I’m really glad I get to come home and 2) how goddamned lucky am I?
